I've decided it'd be a good idea to give up. Not on school, not on life, not on love, but on a friendship. I figure if I just let it fade out, without really saying anything... then there won't be too many problems. & maybe one day, if she misses me, she can call. But for now, I'm just not even going to try. Why bother? There's nothing I can do... there's nothing I can say right now without coming off like a total bitch (maybe?). I'm just disappointed. & maybe I'm assuming too much without ever finding out the real answer, but sometimes you don't need to know the whole truth. I feel that the judgment I've made in this situation is justified. I don't need to hear any explanations. It doesn't matter what the excuse. The facts are there. I've been the sick person. I would never be so selfish. I'm not saying she's selfish. Not at all. In fact, I wish she had been more selfish. Then she wouldn't have missed that opportunity. She could have seen it. She'd been waiting for months & she missed it. Details are pointless... since I'm mostly saying this for myself, and no one reads or comments on this at all. I just wanted to say it somewhere. And it's public, and the link is available, but it all depends on whether or not someone will go out of their way to click it. If someone does. If they see it. Then who knows. I'm not saying this because I'm mad at anyone. I just can't deal with this all over again. The anxiety, the bad dreams. I have enough anxiety just with school. So for now, I just have to let apathy take hold of this situation. I'll be here if she ever needs me...
I'm in love. I have good friends. And while I should be happy with all of it, I can't be. My friends, not all of them, but a select few keep creating these dramatic situations. I can't even stand there while these things are going on without getting accused of taking a "side" or talking shit. I don't have to say anything.
I hate it when people lie. I try to be honest and true with everyone. And the truth is, I have nothing against any of my friends. Sure, we all have flaws, and they can get me frustrated sometimes, but I don't want to be involved in this cloud of hate just because of that. Why do they bury themselves in lies? Why do they over-exaggerate? Doesn't it just make things more difficult? Doesn't it all make us more stressed and upset? Do they want to be so upset? I sure as hell don't. I just want to be happy.
Changed up my layout a bit. I can't help it... my livejournal is much better. I like being able to have control over my layout... I'm all about the customization. :O
I've been in desperate need of a job lately and I think I've finally come across some luck. A friend of mine works down the street at a dollar store, and she told me they need some help and also that she'd put in a word for me. AWESOME. I'm saved. Financially speaking and also from the threat of my parents taking my cellphone away.
SUMMER IS WEIRD.
I love Moo cards. <3
Can't wait to get mine in the mail. Probably be awhile to actually buy some, but I will when the funds are available.
Moooooo.
Also, this layout SO suits my username, don't you think? ;P
Later!
I rarely ever update this thing. I've been so busy lately with getting ready for finals, future plans, etc. I still do ocassionally come by here, so I don't fully neglect this thing.
Nothing much to say except for I'm really addicted to .hack//G.U.
I hope you're all doing okay. :]
mmn, yummy, i''ve had a life lately.
poor ruu got shipped back to japan for a while, and almost raped by yakuza.
i bet it's because of his bewbs
anywaaaaaaaaaaay uh,...i think i'll do a decent update later x333
What was the last game you played?
Videogame-wise, the Star Fox game that just came out for the DS. Was playing it with Elliot, Cam, Dave, and Armand. It's a fun game! The controls are a bit complex at first, but then you get used to it.
Sports-wise, tennis. Mind you, I've never really played tennis before, but Mike taught me. And it's fun. :] I might play it more often.
What song or lyrics are stuck in your head at the moment? What album is it from?
Submitted by Lox Ly.
Ani Difranco's Half-Assed.
What books are on your nightstand?
